Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Mission Statement(s)


I'm on the "Fire Joe Girardi" bandwagon. I don't even know if there is a bandwagon, but fuck it, I'm on it. But there has to be one. I can't possibly be the only Yankee fan so fed up with Joe G's intolerant, little league dad bullshit.

Oh, you want to protect your players, a la Alex Rodriguez? Fuck you, Joe. Oh, You want to trot out overrated bullpen pieces every single fucking game and then wonder why they suck even harder than they actually suck? Fuck you, Joe. Oh, you want to make pitching changes, mid at-bat? FUCK YOU, JOE!

For whatever cosmically unexplainable reason, fans, critics, and pundits alike wondered why he didn't get offered another job after spreading his managerial plague down in Miami. Well, I'll let you in on a secret: He isn't very good! That's right, the skip is winging it, while collectively the entire fanbase - the ones with more brains and minimum amounts of homerism - scratches their heads and sharpens their hunting spears (assumed).

And it really is that simple - Girardi is a bad manager. And to make matters worse, he's a patsy to the highest caliber. He plays butler Geoffrey while Mr. and Mrs. Phillip-Fresh-fucking-Prince-of-Bel-Air-Banks upstairs pull the strings. And on top of being a patsy, he's a fucking cry baby. Kyle Farnsworth trade, anyone? Who cries over an underachieving, lead-hemorrhaging machine being traded? It wasn't like Bernie Williams was mowed down in the parking lot by drunk driver, and it wasn't like Derek Jeter caught the germ from some Tampa stripper - it was Kyle Farnsworth!

But that scene sums up his existence in his 1+ seasons as the Yankees skipper: Overreacting and making bad decisions...And looking like a baby.

So, how long will we have to wait? Unfortunately, if the Yankees play up to their money-driven ability, it might be a while. But if someone can rouse The Old Man from his medicated coma and inform him by using a series of hand signals and blinking lights that the Yankees have dropped five straight games to the Sawx, things might change.

Until then, we wait, with patience. But we do wait...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009